Current mood: stress and fear. I’m stressing out today. I woke up with my knee hurting, feeling the aftermath of trying to climb Mt. Si just eight weeks post-ACL surgery. Some days I wake up feeling fluid and mobile. Today I woke up moaning like an old man just to put pants on and then TRY to yoga. “Did I f*ck my knee up?” With pain came fear, followed by anger and then angry tears. Frustration. I just want to be able to move and groove with ease again.
The weather in Seattle has been outrageously nice and today I sat and watched dozens of happy, smiling runners. They seemed to be rubbing it in. Jealousy chewed at my heart. “Will I ever be able to run again?” There is fear attached to the permanence of my injury. So these notes aren't about ending being optimistic like everything happens for a reason and we are always okay. Of course we are always okay — but it doesn’t mean the moments of frustration, stress, and fear aren’t human and normal. I am all of those things today.
By feeling all of the feelings, I am allowing myself to work out that energy, rather than bottling it up inside. Tomorrow I’ll probably wake up feeling more positive and reflect back on today realizing I put the drama pants on a little too tight. But that's where I'm at and so this is about keeping it real — a very real part of coping with injuries.
How do you cope with injuries?
Follow Coach B's journey back from her second ACL surgery — read her first blog on injury here.